Friday, July 17, 2009

Make Mine a Provera on the Rocks

If I were to make an assumption, I would assume that the most optimal time to premiere a blog would not be 1 a.m. after three glasses of wine on a Thursday night.

However, if I were to have made that initial assumption initially, it would most likely have been before I found out my best friend was -whoops! oh dear!- pregnant after tryingbutnottrying to get knocked up for a mere 30 days.

Add this new predicament to the fact that I was prescribed the period-inducing medication Provera a slight three hours before this revelation, but nine months after stopping the Pill, and all assumptions are fairly thrown out the window.

So that is where we find ourselves, my friend. Your dear BumpBlogger, whose stomach is as flat as her wedding day three years ago when she was in the midst of an anti-food campaign in order to fit into a handkerchief-sized wedding dress, is drunk. Not on love, but on a cheap Bella Sera Pinot Grigio that she bought pre-chilled from the package store attached to the local TJ Maxx. Where she was debating between buying said friend a congratulatory baby blanket or purchasing an extremely ugly three-season-old Coach bag just to waste money to spite her husband for not getting her knocked up.

In the end, the Bella Sera was clearly the only sane option. Cheers.

P.S: Welcome to my blog. I apologize for the ridiculous self-serving babble and blame it on the ah-ah-ahah-ahah-cohol. I will be back to my normal, sober self-serving babbling tomorrow. Stick around.


  1. HA! I too did that whole anti-food thing before my wedding two years ago. And, as you, know, my period and I are at odds as well.

    I think I'm going to enjoy reading your blog, BumpBlogger.

  2. Thanks Johanna Rose! Love your blog!