The best part about waking up to a 96.5 temperature for 28 days in a row? I get to sing "Cold Hearted Snake" to myself each morning as I brush my teeth (Hey Paula!). That, or "Cold As Ice." I alternate. You know, keep it exciting.
Because otherwise, I would be tempted to try to smash my cute little basal thermometer with my alarm clock. (Ok, I admit it. I did try this. It didn't work. It just beeped at me spitefully.) Or cry. Which I actually almost did on the spinning bike this morning.
How could my temperature be SO low? How could I have not ovulated this month when I DEFINITELY ovulated last month and FINALLY got a real period, on my own, without Provera?
I called the all-knowing Dr. Obigeewyan today to get to the bottom of the matter. "Oh. Hmm," she said wisely. "Well." Thank you, my sage. Finally: "Well, do you have really long cycles as well?"
Oh yes, as a matter of fact, I do! I must have forgotten to mention that to you the last 100 times I've spoken to you over the past 13 months.
But then Dr. Obigeewyan said the first thing I agreed with in a long time: "I think it's time for me to refer you to a specialist."
Right on, Obi. Bring it. Whaddaya say, Paula?
Monday, November 9, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Who Chose THIS Adventure?
When I was 10, my favorite books were "Choose Your Own Adventure" (after Anne of Green Gables and Babysitters Club, duh). I could sit enthralled for hours helping Princess Peony navigate her way through the fiend-filled forest in order to be reunited with Prince Perfection.
At the end of each chapter, I would contemplate my next step thoughtfully, trying to make the story last as long as possible. "If Princess Peony follows the mysterious gypsy into the cave, turn to page 2. If she follows her heart and stays on the straight path, turn to page 7." Follow your heart, Princess! Follow your heart! Page 7 it was.
Sometimes, however, I would accidentally lead Princess Peony astray ... and would quickly backtrack when I turned to the next page only to see THE END printed neatly at the bottom of the paragraph. It can't just END like that!, I'd think. It didn't end with Perfection!
I recently had a nostalgic conversation about "Choose Your Own Adventure" books with Said Friend Stacie (you know, the one who got pregnant when her husband sneezed near her). After I gushed about making each book last until the pages were worn and the ink was rubbed away, Stacie laughed.
"Omigod," she said. "I'm so the opposite. I would always pick those books for book reports and then choose the shortest way to the end possible."
I was shocked. Who would want to just skip to the end? Who wouldn't want the journey to last?
Now, as I enter my 13th month of my Infertility Adventure, I've started wondering the same thing. Would the pathway to pregnancy be as life-altering and rewarding if I had simply skipped this story and gone straight to the end? Would I have been this completely ready to be a mother? Would I have recognized this much about myself?
Right now I'm still navigating my way through my own story ... but I have faith that when it's right, I will reach the end. And when I do, I'll be satisfied with how I got there. I'll be ready to begin the next chapter. It'll be Perfection.
At the end of each chapter, I would contemplate my next step thoughtfully, trying to make the story last as long as possible. "If Princess Peony follows the mysterious gypsy into the cave, turn to page 2. If she follows her heart and stays on the straight path, turn to page 7." Follow your heart, Princess! Follow your heart! Page 7 it was.
Sometimes, however, I would accidentally lead Princess Peony astray ... and would quickly backtrack when I turned to the next page only to see THE END printed neatly at the bottom of the paragraph. It can't just END like that!, I'd think. It didn't end with Perfection!
I recently had a nostalgic conversation about "Choose Your Own Adventure" books with Said Friend Stacie (you know, the one who got pregnant when her husband sneezed near her). After I gushed about making each book last until the pages were worn and the ink was rubbed away, Stacie laughed.
"Omigod," she said. "I'm so the opposite. I would always pick those books for book reports and then choose the shortest way to the end possible."
I was shocked. Who would want to just skip to the end? Who wouldn't want the journey to last?
Now, as I enter my 13th month of my Infertility Adventure, I've started wondering the same thing. Would the pathway to pregnancy be as life-altering and rewarding if I had simply skipped this story and gone straight to the end? Would I have been this completely ready to be a mother? Would I have recognized this much about myself?
Right now I'm still navigating my way through my own story ... but I have faith that when it's right, I will reach the end. And when I do, I'll be satisfied with how I got there. I'll be ready to begin the next chapter. It'll be Perfection.
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